(301) Being a Godparent: An Awesome Responsibility

 AMDG

Antonina Frederyka, born a week after her cousin Sophia on March 5, is baptized at St. John the Evangelist Church in Front Royal, VA.  Holding Antonina are her godparents, Isaac and Julia Easton.  Looking on is their son Charlie. 

       Being appointed as a godmother or godfather is a great honor, which pales in comparison to the great sacrament of Baptism.  But what is really important is the responsibility that honor entails.  Being a godfather of six and having been involved with the Baptisms of my four adult children and now five grandchildren including three in 2024 alone, please let me share some thoughts and lessons I have learned about being a godparent.  I’m taking the risk of being a hypocrite because I myself have been negligent with my six godchildren.  Please don’t repeat my mistakes.  

 

      In the American culture the beautiful tradition of godparents is an honor, but only a formality as part of the Baptismal rite.  As the years pass into adolescence, the godson or goddaughter has little or no contact with the godparents.   Often they move; friendships fade and the family loses contact with them.  The child may not even know who his/her godparents are.  Too often the godparents are lax in their faith or fallen away Catholics, certainly not models of faithfulness to Church teaching.  That’s not the way the Church intends it to be.

 

       How should it be?  The very name, godmother or godfather essentially means other mother or other father……in other words, back-up parents, especially if the corresponding birth parents are lax or indifferent in forming the children or something happens to the family as a traumatic accident, serious illness, or family breakup.  Godparents are supposed to help or supplement the birth parents in spiritual formation and provide reinforcement of the Christian values that the birth parents are trying to inculcate in the children.

This photo shows part of Antonina’s extended family……her parents, grandparents, an uncle and an aunt……Daniel, big brother Anselmito, and Stephanie Spiotta.  Jaga is holding her granddaughter Nina, followed by her Aunt Naomi Faro, Grandfather Paul Sebastian, and Uncle Joseph.

However, contradicting the values of the family could present problems and the godparent should be sensitive to offending the birth parents.  Unless the godson or goddaughter is of age or outright sin is involved, parental authority takes precedence over the advice of godparents.  Especially in adolescence, the youth may be afraid to consult his/her parents on a personal problem or simply desires a second opinion, another viewpoint.

 

    To keep contact with the godson or goddaughter, parents should invite the godparents to family functions, certainly such events as the child’s birthday party, graduation, First Communion, Confirmation, wedding, and perhaps a class play, special sports events, etc.  Perhaps the godparent could take the child to a major league baseball game or hiking,  If distance is a problem, the godparent should at least make a brief phone call on a birthday or upon achieving a milestone.  The godparent should keep up on how the child is doing throughout his/her life. 

 

The point is to build up a relationship such that the child would feel free to consult a godparent on a personal problem.  This is easier if the godparent is a relative of the child or a close family friend, rather young yet mature to maintain a fruitful relationship for many years.  Perhaps even better is choosing a married couple to be the godparents who can reinforce or complement each other.

 

   Really, godparents should be accepted as members of the extended family.  In Latin America they often call godparents, “compadres” as part of the extended family.  At the very least godparents should try to pray daily for each of their godchildren by name, a brief petition for each one as part of their prayer life.  Each brief petition by name is an act of love that strengthens the bond between godparent and child.

 

      Thus being a godparent is not simply an honor, but an awesome responsibility.  May both parents and godparents take this responsibility seriously.  May we, who are godparents, do a better job at this most important task.  They may be able to help their godsons and goddaughters remain faithful to the Church.  Let’s follow the Catholic culture, not the secular culture.  

 

Pastors have a very important role in instructing both parents and godparents in the selection and fulfilling their duties.  Parents often need guidance on even naming the child.  Traditionally, the  Church has asked parents to choose the name of a saint or close to it so that the child may have a patron saint, a model to follow for the rest of his/her life.  Patron saints are also great for the environment in the home, which is the domestic church.  In Poland people celebrate a person’s “name day” (the feast day of his/her patron saint) often even more than the birthday.  

 

      I realize that I have portrayed the ideals of being a godparent which are not always achievable.  Being what a godparent should be is not easy.  Career, family problems, home maintenance, hobbies, the boob tube, and just being so busy with both the essentials and non essentials of life all get in the way.  Nevertheless, let’s strive for the ideal.  We may never achieve the ideal, but the ideal gives us the right direction.  Only a few steps in that direction is progress.