AMDG
-Published in the Gallia Hometown Herald November 7, 2014. Click on http://galliaherald.com/blog/2014/11/07/60-years-they-did-it-so-can-we/
- Published in the Sunday Times Sentinel (Gallipolis, OH) November 9, 2014 p D1
.jpg) |
| Mary and Bob Murphy After 60 Years Together |
Today marks the 60th
Wedding Anniversary of Bob and Mary Murphy, pillars of St. Louis Church
since 1992. What a tremendous witness to
the institution of marriage which is so fragile and devalued today! So many marriages can’t get past 10 years and
they made it to 60! By word and example
what can they teach us about marriage as God intended it to be and how to keep
it going?
Bob and Mary are products of the
“Great Generation” that grew up during the Great Depression and won the war
that completely absorbed the Country.
Bob lied about his age (then 17) to serve in the United States Navy for
four years toward the end of World War II.
In 1949 Bob returned to the B.F. Goodrich Tire & Rubber Company to
work on the assembly line during the night shift and as a student studying
History at the University of Akron during the day.
In the early 1950s Bob was introduced to a beautiful Chemist
by the name of Mary Bussan, who was working in the lab of his company’s competitor,
Firestone next door. Akron was then the
Rubber Capital of the World. Mary had graduated
from Clarke College, a small all women Catholic school in Dubuque, Iowa with
majors in Math and Chemistry. Their
friendship grew and Bob proposed. During
the marriage preparation, Fr. Wenchester discovered that Bob was not Catholic
and so invited him into the fold. He became a strong and devout Catholic and today never misses his daily
rosary. There's a lot of truth in the observation of more than one priest: "The best Catholics are converts" because they discovered the truth. Cradle Catholics tend to take the faith for granted. Bob and Mary were finally married on
November 6, 1954.
.jpg) |
| The Newly Weds on November 6, 1964 |
Bob
and Mary did not have the unrealistic expectations that ruin so many marriages
today right from the start…….i.e., illusions of a fairy tale marriage in
which everything would be bliss and they would live happily ever after. When it doesn’t happen that way, there comes
the breakup. Bob and Mary took their
marriage vows seriously…….. “for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer,
in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish; until death do us part.” They knew that their marriage would have ups
and downs, joy and grief, triumphs and disappointments…….and so it was. Divorce was never an option. In fact it’s impossible when there’s firm resolve,
true and complete mutual self-giving, and dying to self with God at the center.
Bob climbed up the corporate ladder within the sales
force to the executive level as Coordinator of Private Brands, but at a great price. As many successful sales people under
pressure, he fell into alcoholism while entertaining prospective customers on a
daily basis, but Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) and especially his wife Mary helped
him through the recovery. In retirement
Bob used that great victory over self to help others conquer their addictions. It was unflappable Mary who helped Bob keep
his Irish temper in check; she kept the peace.
When things got tough, they confronted it and tapped the graces of the
sacrament of Matrimony. Belonging to a
Catholic charismatic prayer community also was a big help. They both have a solid faith and love that
kept their marriage together. More than
once in our many conversations in the past has Bob verbalized his gratitude to
the support of his wife Mary over the years.
Many a successful man attributes his success in life and even salvation to
the loving support, encouragement, and prayers of his wife. Of course, that works both ways.
The
fruits of their marriage were six children. Mary was a full time mother. They lived through the grief of losing baby
Kathleen a day after birth, but God blessed their family with a religious
vocation as Sister Mary became a dedicated missionary nun, giving her life to
God and His people of Mexico. There’s also
Coleen Smith, Maureen Kormanik, Patty Wallen, Kevin Murphy, and Bridget
Cline. Like many other heartbroken parents
of the best of families that did everything right, they are praying two of them
back into the Church. Their family of
eight continues to multiply; the extended family includes 16 grandchildren and
11 great grandchildren that have come along with more to come.
Retirement
in 1992 did not slow Bob down. Born
in Vinton, he returned to his roots in Gallia County with Mary and became an
alcoholism counselor for almost five years.
During his spare time, he became a staunch fighter for the pro-life
cause and was the grand knight (president) of the St. Louis Council of the
Knights of Columbus. Mary was a CCD
teacher and ran the Vacation Bible School for many years. She helped Bob with his pro-life work. Today Mary continues as a Eucharistic
Minister and a member of the choir.
Although Bob could not be as active in his 80s, he’s
still there hauling his grandkids to the Parish School of Religion and
McDonalds too for motivation. Bob (86)
and Mary (83) also help their widowed daughter to raise the five grandkids who
live next door. Having helped her
parents raise her nine brothers and sisters plus her own six, that’s no big
deal for Mary. For Bob with only one
sibling, a lot of kids was an adjustment and over the years he became very good
with them.
I asked them several questions to find out what kept
their marriage ticking for 60 years.
Their answers are summarized below.
Joys
and Problems. There were many
joys........the births, the baptisms, the weddings, etc. There were many problems to overcome as
described above. Mary observed: “I don’t see obstacles. I just deal with them, riding with the
bumps. That’s life.” Bob’s greatest joy is “being married to a
lovely woman who had faith and trust in me, taught me how to be a Christian,
and brought me to the Lord.”
Secrets
in Keeping a Marriage Going for 60 Years.
Mary simply says: “Put one foot in front of the other and keep
going”. She doesn’t get upset and stays
on course with a quiet determination and faith…….a real gift. Bob believes the secret is in faith, trust,
kindness, tolerance, and patience.
What
made your marriage work? What kept it
together? Mary credits it to prayer
and faith: “Make choices along the way
and trust in the Lord”. Clearly,
prayer, faith, and trust in God form the foundation and the core of her great inner
strength. Bob seconded that and added
“trusting each other, mutual kindness, patience, and tolerance”.
Advice
for Struggling Young Couples. Mary
urges them to “talk things out; keep communications open; share your fears”. Bob reemphasizes: “keep the faith and develop
tolerance, patience, and kindness.
The
parishioners of St. Louis Church and friends are invited to the 10 am Mass on Sunday November 9 to celebrate
this great 60 year milestone and immediately following honor Bob and Mary at the monthly Knights of
Columbus Benefit Breakfast for a memorial to the unborn in the cemetery . You can send cards to the Murphys
at 13467 State Route 160; Vinton, OH 45686.
No comments:
Post a Comment